there is so much going on inside of me right now... i can feel God leading me through something... He's showing me more and more of myself everyday...today as i was praying i got a vision in my head of a picture... but the picture was old and torn... it was missing it's insides and all that was left was a ripped up frame. and to some, this is a sad picture... but to me it was beautiful. and i believe that God was telling me, "this is where i'm taking you."... and it really doesn't look like the most desirable place to go... but for a long time i think i've been painting my own picture... filling it with what i want... with a splash of selfishness and a few strokes of pride... rough sketches of sin that i was sure no one would notice... and i think my picture looked really good at first glance... but the more i studied it, the more i realized that it was ugly. it didn't mean anything. and i got worried... this is all permanent. i can't erase this. it's done. but while no one was looking i laid a bright new canvas over the original. i quickly copied all the good parts of the original and left out the bad ones. now this painting was something to look at! it only had a few minor flaws... people who looked would be happy and send forth compliments... and it worked for a while... but as time passed the disguise would not last.
as God has been removing this fake canvas... it's been painful... at times it's felt like i'm being torn up... like God is taking strips of the painting and ripping them out... and i've felt a bit embarassed... this is all stuff that i never wanted God or anyone else to see... but He is showing me that this old ripped up picture is the one that He originally created... and THIS is the one he wants to continue to shape and work with. a replacement canvas won't do. this original is the one He loved first. and he's going to take it and make it new.
God is helping me empty myself. and i'm asking Him to pour more of who He is into the open places of my spirit. and for the first time in a long time... i like what i see.
14 comments:
i've said this before, but i honestly admire you danny. i'm very proud of the way you dig into your life with God. bless you sweetie.
OK, OK, I'm feeling convicted enough already ;)
You really do dig deep and that honesty challenges me to take another hard look at where I'm at and what I'm painting over and covering up.
You go, wild man!
wow d...you are amazing...God is amazing...thank you for sharing what God is doing in you...i'm blessed...
ps...God is the Master artist!
Danny - you GOT and explained the concept of Pentimento much better than I have!
When I think of the ripped and torn picture, the first thing that I saw was, of course, a mystery, and an adventure! Which immediately intrigues me. I once acquired an old torn up, faded hundred year old picture, and carefully and after much patience and the gentlest work, discovered a treasure that explained so much. I can't wait to see what appears on your canvas.
good stuff, danno.
i'm reminded of the elevator music song we were listening to last night...
more of you, and less of me; more of you, and less of me, and more of you, more of you, Jesus.
:)
ps. definitely not "more of you, jeremy" either. :) :) :)
i sure am sensing a unity of the spirit between your insights danny and this artist's rendering. your canvas certainly is made of quality dna and comes from a noble bloodline that truly reflects the glory of Imago Dei. you are beautiful man.
What a beautiful image, bro. I love it, and all your detail here makes it stand out even more. I love the honesty here, your truth-telling in the midst of this process. I can't wait to see what God does with it all.
nice!
don't ever loose that tender openness with what god is doing with you danny.
I find it fascinating how we constantly fill our lives with our stuff. stuff we think will make us happy because, after all we're the experts on ourselves. only to find out our "floor plans" are seriously flawed and we go back to the master builder to have him show us whats good and pure descent.
david had some phenomenal insight on this stuff. "CREATE in me a clean heart oh god. RENEW in me a right spirit"
creating. renewing. god is so cool. amazing grace saved a wretch like me . . .
danny, you are so ahead of the game bro. there are men & women of faith who die old & wrinkled without really getting this: that being stripped of ourselves hurts, it means letting go of what we know & lean most heavily upon. it even means letting go of our ideas of what is good & right sometimes. this is necessary so jesus can fill us with himself. he can't fill us if we aren't empty. gosh, that HURTS. but jesus did it (phil. 2). it makes sense that we need to also.
your momma & poppa have every reason to be proud of you. i'm just proud to know you.
you've painted a beautiful word picture here, one that inspires me to return to the foot of the cross, lay myself down, spread my arms and my hands wide open.
love you, bro.
*hugs*
beautiful.
really.
it makes me less mad at you.
:) j/k. j/k.
love.
thought of you danny as i was reading today's daily manna...looked up the Message version for this
a different kind of canvas
2 Corinthians 5
1-5For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we'll never have to relocate our "tents" again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less.
dude, danny. i totally feel you on all this, bro. God be with you, as he is also with me.
A friend of mine often says this, "Nathan, I feel like I'm being ripped out of the frame." I thought of that as I read your post.
Lot's of great insight there Danny. Emptiness is hard (I'm still there), but I also know that refilling is mind blowing . . . mos def worth it.
Thanks for another glimpse into your journey. It helps frame mine, so to speak and keep it in perspective.
I enjoy your posts. This one is touching. Venturing into the empty unknown - you are a brave man, sir.
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