will you go out with me? check yes or no.

so i'm about to embark on a camping trip with the folks i live with. the forecast is screaming at us, BEGGING us to not go... but we're not listening. we can thank natalie for that. she's dead set on doing this. i'm kind of a wimp and don't want to be out in the rain all weekend... but meh. what can you do? we'll make some good stories i'm sure. plus, we just need the time to be together & bond as a house. we've been living in the thomas house now for about a month. so far, so good... but it's been a bit of a struggle for most. just a lot of change & newness.

speaking of which. i have a girlfriend.

yeah, you heard me. did i stutter?

ha... sorry, i'm slightly excited.

so i haven't had a girlfriend in over 2 years. before that, i was dating like crazy... and dating crazy people. (hopefully no ex-girlfriends will be reading this...) ok so they weren't all crazy... maybe none of them were. maybe i was the crazy one for getting into relationships with girls i barely knew. i think early on, i had the right idea. i didn't just want to date around... i wanted to meet someone special. see if we clicked, become friends, start dating, fall in love, get married, have babies.

after i met a few girls that i was sure i was in love with & things didn't pan out, i decided things needed to change.

i needed to change my approach to dating.

no more waiting around for a girl that i really liked, that i could see myself with. nope. i was gonna stop being so "picky". and i wasn't gonna wait around & get to know the girl... that just ruins everything right? you can't let it slip into the "friend zone". cause then it just stays there... you gotta date right away before you know too much about each other! that's the ticket!!!

oh wait. that's a terrible idea.

too bad that's the approach i took for around 4 years. yikes... i got myself involved with girls i never should have been with. and the whole time i was hurting. searching for worth & acceptance in a kiss. and at first it would be good. but it never lasted very long... and i think i knew deep down that i shouldn't have dated them. but i didn't care. i was coasting. i was selfish. and that was that. until i finally woke up. i realized that not only was i hurting myself more by behaving this way, but i was hurting others as well. so i kissed dating goodbye for a time.

2 years later. i'm not perfect yet. DANG IT! ha... it's true... i still have things i'm wrestling with. i'm still learning more about myself & about the lord. but a couple things have changed. the most important being...

i got to a place in my life where i was ok with being single for the rest of my life.

i still really had a desire to meet someone... but i wasn't putting my hope in it anymore. i stopped searching for someone. if i met someone, great. if not, it doesn't define me. i am a child of god. i have a beautiful family & community of people around me. i learned to be happy without being "with" somebody.

and then wouldn't you know it... i met someone.

her name is amanda. she is wonderful. i'm tempted to just go on & on about how great she is & how much i like her... but do any of you really want to listen to me ramble about that? i doubt it... so we'll just leave it at this:

i know who she is. she is a beautiful woman that loves the lord & i like her a whole lot :)

pray for us if you think to. this is new territory for both of us. we live together in a community house with 6 other folks which presents a whole set of interesting things to work through. but we're up for the challenge.

thanks for listening y'all. good times ahead :)