dab chronicles

27

2012-02-17T11:55:00.000-06:00

this is the year of 27 for me. like i said in my last post... i'm 27 years old. i've lost 27 lbs... and in an hour or so, i'll have 27 teeth.

kinda crazy.

say a little prayer for me.

pictures to come soon!

growing pains

2012-02-11T00:20:00.000-06:00

i feel like a totally different person lately. like i've lost a little bit of who i am. but the parts i'm losing need to go. they've needed to go for a long time now. and it's not just physical things like fat & decay. there are things beneath the service that are slowly melting away. greed. laziness. hardness towards god. i've been finding myself wanting to be more generous. i feel highly motivated. i'm starting to "feel" god like i used to when i was young. i'm just so glad for everything that the lord is bringing me through right now. more than ever, i feel that i'm becoming the man he's created me to be. but it kinda hurts!

today i made my 2nd trip to the dentist. had to get 2 fillings and i actually received some good news! they were concerned that these particular cavities had high potential of becoming root canals. but after removing the decay, they found that they weren't deep enough for root canal procedures. whew! that's a weight off my mind. so... 2 cavities down, 10 to go. AND next week i get to have a tooth extracted. my poor mouth. but hey, it's progress! and even though my mouth is a bit sore, i'm just SO relieved to be getting all of this taken care of now.

on a related note, i'm moving out of the 4plex i've been living in for the last year. i've decided that with all these dental expenses coming up, it might be good to move back home with my amazing parents & save some money. it's been an awesome year living here & i'm really going to miss it in so many ways. i have great roomies & great housemates. but this is also a year to start preparing for the next phase of my relationship with my girlfriend, amanda. don't get too excited! nothing's official yet. but we've been talking about it & i've decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to start saving up for a future wedding & all that comes along with that... who knows... could happen anytime :)

i just turned 27. and guess what folks? that is the amount of pounds i've lost so far! still have a long way to go, but i'm celebrating more than just another year of life... i'm celebrating the years i'm potentially adding to my life(with god's help). i had to buy a belt cause my pants are falling down. i can run almost 4 miles on the elliptical(when i started, it was really hard to do a mile). i just did a 4 day juice fast with manda. didn't particularly enjoy all of it, but i did it.

i honestly don't think i look that different yet. but i am different.

it must be permanent.

new look

2012-02-06T13:25:00.000-06:00

so i figured since i'm going through so many changes right now, it'd make sense to give the blog a little tweak. the symbols sort of reflect what i'm focused on right now in life & i thought it was about time to update some of the pictures on the side bar as well as the list of blogs to check out. i'll write an ACTUAL update soon.

till then. peace!

tooth hurty

2011-12-24T12:45:00.001-06:00

my friend jeremy recently asked me if that's what time my surgery was scheduled and if they were going to get to the root of the problem. heh...

well good news. the surgery went well and i'm on the mend! my mouth has been a bit sore & stiff... but there hasn't been much swelling at all and i haven't had too hard of a time eating. i'm just so glad this is all getting taken care of... and if that surgery was the worst of it, than i guess you could say it's all downhill from here. (ever since i saw the movie due date i've been confused about that saying)

if you haven't heard yet, i recently started a music blog with my friend jessica. it's called sound of souls. you should check it out if you have time.

merry christmas!

all i want for christmas is tooth #30...

2011-12-15T17:23:00.001-06:00

i'm getting surgery on monday. this is an actual picture of my failed root canal. you can kind of see on the right side of the highlighted tooth a dark line running down the root. that's where it got all jacked up. apparently the specialist thinks that there are fragments of a root canal instrument that broke off in the root & caused the failure/infection. bummer.

looks like i'm gonna have a swollen face for christmas.

even though it's somewhat sucky... the bright side is, they don't have to pull my tooth! in 3 months when the surgery is healed, i'll get a crown and be done with all this madness!

thanks for the prayers y'all!

daniel before the endodontic specialist...

2011-12-15T11:29:00.000-06:00

so today i get to see an endodontic specialist. they're going to give me a consultation on my failed root canal. $100 just to look at is & see if they can fix it. if they can, it'll cost around $2,500... if they can't, i lose the tooth... tough choice. i guess i'm hoping they can fix it. nobody wants to lose a tooth. ugh...

we'll see what happens i suppose. pray for me y'all!

daniel after the dentist

2011-12-11T14:21:00.001-06:00

so i went to the dentist.
it didn't go as well as i'd hoped. my mouth is pretty jacked up.
that root canal that i had 5 or so years ago... it failed... so i need to get it repaired. and if they can't fix it, it has to get pulled. i have another tooth in the far back that needs to get pulled as well. not to mention i have 12 cavities ($300/cavity).

how's that for a reality check?

i'm still really glad i went. even though my fears were basically fully realized... i'm changing. things are bad right now, but they're gonna get better. i'll just have to add flossing to the ever-growing list of health changes i need to make... and a lot of those changes have already been made. i just finished a turkey sandwich jam-packed with spinach, cucumbers, tomatoes & green peppers and i'm about to take off to the ywca for some running with my beautiful girlfriend.

see? things aren't so bad.

daniel before the dentist

2011-12-09T11:23:00.003-06:00

so... i'm going to the dentist today... and i'm decently nervous. mostly because the last time i went to the dentist i had to get a root canal.. and that was like 5 or so years ago. it's just been one of those things that i've always been afraid of for some reason. same thing with the doctor. i've had health care for the last 3 years and i haven't even used it.

until now.

when i was a kid, i got teased a lot about my weight. and it made me HATE going to school. honestly, i tried staying home "sick" at least once a week. i'm pretty sure that was really hard for my parents... having a child wake them up once a week pretending to be sick, but refusing to be honest & admit what was truly wrong.

as i've gotten older, people have become more polite than my former classmates. nobody teases me about my weight. could you imagine if they did?! how terribly rude! but the problem is actually... people don't talk about it... at all. it's like my body is a secret everyone is trying to keep from me so that my feelings won't be hurt. and i have LOVED the comfort of that place. it's honestly helped me to become more confident in who i am... but it's also helped me to become comfortable with being "the way" i am.

i've decided that it's time to stop being afraid of hearing what's true about me. specifically about my body.

i'm unhealthy.

but i've also decided that it's time to stop being unhealthy.

i went to the doctor's office the day after thanksgiving to establish health care... and my doctor (my friend jason como) was refreshingly honest with me & told me i need to lose weight. that didn't come as a huge surprise to me... but what did is that apparently i am technically "morbidly obese". those words... that honesty.. it really impacted me.

i had already downloaded an app called "calorie counter" that my good friend damaris recommended to me. i had used it a couple times just to get an idea of how many calories i take in when i'm not trying to do anything different. well, dr. como gave me a game plan to follow for how many calories i should take in to be more healthy, and this app has been SO helpful! i cut out soda & i also got a membership at the ywca right down the road from where i live. i've been trying to go there & run any chance i get. i've already lost 10 lbs and i have more energy lately.

i'm excited to see where this goes. who knows... maybe this trip to the dentist will bring something good into my world.

fog & god

2011-07-18T18:03:00.007-05:00

this past weekend i was at a friend's cabin. on sunday morning i woke up randomly at 7:30. couldn't fall back asleep. i sat up & looked out the window at the lake. there was a thick layer of fog covering it & i felt like it was calling to me. so i grabbed my i-pod & ran down to the dock & just sat for a while.

after a while of silence i threw on some aaron strumpel vespers & just opened myself up to the lord. the first song i listened to is called "used to". beautiful lyrics.

"won't you talk to me

like you used to

when i was young"

it really hit home for me. i miss god. so strange to miss someone who's always been right there...

as i stared out where the lake and the fog blend together, i felt like i was looking at god. like he was staring into my eyes.

another quick one...

2011-05-02T15:17:00.003-05:00

dear blog,

sorry blog. you've been neglected for so long and i'm only tossing you scraps. life is busy and i haven't had time to write about it. though, soon we will spend some quality time together. i promise.

alright... now that THAT'S out of the way...

2 things.

1. why am i so stupid?!

now... some of you will quickly run to my defense. "danny, you're not stupid! you're stupid for SAYING you're stupid!"

just here me out though... the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I DO THIS!

maybe not all the time... but enough to notice.

so i had an embarrassing moment yesterday. i won't get into all the details, but let's just say i wish there was a rewind button for life sometimes. but... as we all know, there isn't. and so life goes on, but i was struck in this moment of embarrassment how amanda was so... loving & accepting. it was ok. it was a strange feeling because normally if i'm embarrassed about something it's because of something i did or a part of who i am... i feel like i can't change it and i feel trapped by it and i just want to run & hide.

but not with her.

things with amanda are going quite well these days. we made it past the one year mark and that's a first for me :)

alright... on to #2.

2. we live in a crazy world.

i woke up today to find people celebrating death. osama bin laden was killed last night. people are going back & forth about whether it was right or wrong and blah blah blah... but i found these two quotes to be quite profound in the midst of it all.

"Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
...adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
-Martin Luther King Jr.

"I've had the nastiest taste in my mouth for the past 14 hours. The all out elation and joy that has come from a bullet being driven into a mans head is creepy to me. I get it. He's an EXTREMELY evil man, but the celebrating that's going on goes against everything inside me. What a weird day. I can't wait for this to be over."

-Joey Churchill

that's all for now. till' next time.

late!

2011-05-02T01:32:00.002-05:00

ok... so honestly. it's not THAT late...

i've definitely stayed up much later than 1:30am, but i've also just had a really long weekend... so i'm feeling it a bit more tonight.

i'll have to make this quick...

i have THE most amazing girlfriend. i'm glad i can just be myself around her.

whew.

glad i got that off my chest.

more tomorrow.

night.

holy $%#!

2010-10-20T22:29:00.010-05:00

so it's 6 months today. this is what i woke up to. my girlfriend is amazing.

i think i have my work cut out for me... how am i ever gonna top this? a bunch of post it notes of her thoughts about me.

happy 6 month manda.

and what an amazing 6 months it has been.

i have a dream (or at least i had one)

2010-09-28T23:06:00.003-05:00

we're a few months into our third year doing this intentional community house thing. i am amazed at what the lord has done. i honestly could not have guessed we would be where we are today. in fact, this is QUITE different than i thought it would be.

when we were first starting the hamline house, there was this momentum & energy behind everything. it was so clear to us that the lord was doing something & that something was significant. it only took a few months to actually move into a house & get some other people on board with our little seed of a dream.

i have very fond memories of our first year in the hamline house. don't get me wrong, it was definitely hard at times. learning to live intentionally with a bunch of people that all have lots of different ideas about how things should be. learning so much about hospitality to friends & strangers. breaking up fights right outside our front door (that only happened once). but for the most part i look back on our first year and i feel warmth. i feel family. natalie, ricky, sarah, heather, jamal, zac, greg and me.

towards the end of our first year, there was more momentum, more energy and more people! some close friends of mine (a married couple) had been living across the street from us & decided they wanted to give community living a try. a young man found us on the internet and wanted to come live with us. we had enough folks interested in moving in that we started a second house called the thomas house. we were even closer to reaching the dream.

this last year has completely kicked my butt. i think we changed our structure like 5 or 6 times throughout the year, got rid of the leadership, switched people into different houses, re-elected leadership, split the houses, got rid of the leadership again and hurt a lot of people in the process. my married friends moved out before the year was up. they left feeling wounded & lost. i think in some ways that's how we all felt.

a month ago ricky moved out. that was really hard for me. we have become really close over the last two years and him moving out felt like failure to me. we had made a lot of mistakes along the way, but this was the first time i felt like i'd failed. in a couple of days the guy who found us on the internet will be moving out. i remember when he first moved in how happy he was. full of life & excitement & passion. he's leaving us broken, depressed & alone.

the past few days i've been playing home videos in my head of our first year together. looking back over the footage & smiling. remembering happier days when the dream god had given us was being cared for.

since yesterday all i've been dreaming about is what it would be like to live somewhere else.

but i can't help but wonder if god's not quite done with me. here. in this place. yet.

i can't help but wonder if god's dream for these houses is still alive.

still here whispering in my ear to not give up. to not lose hope.

lord have mercy on me.

howard

2010-08-09T17:27:00.003-05:00

so i'm back from west virginia. i spent 4 days in a row working a demolition site. it was ridiculously hard work. you wouldn't think it would be... like oh yeah, let's just knock down some walls! but no... it takes SO LONG to demolish a trailer! holy crap... by the 3rd day, i didn't think i was gonna make it... but here i am. i definitely stepped on a nail... am i up to date on my tetanus shots? hmmmm... probably something to look into i suppose.

we got to have lunch everyday with an elderly fellow named howard. he would tell us stories of his life... working in the coal mines, going to war, growing up in macdowell county & falling in love with his wife dorothy as we rested in the shade on his front porch eating our bagged lunches. we made an extra sandwich for him every day. on our last day with howard, i brought my guitar & we sang some songs for him. he said it reminded him of a radio station he used to listen to that played music. he began to cry, telling us how much of a blessing we were to him & how he doesn't really get to talk to people anymore. his wife died & his daughter only comes around when she needs something. it was incredibly hard to leave knowing that he wouldn't have company for lunch the next day.

mountain momma

2010-07-31T02:05:00.002-05:00

"country roads take me home to the place i belong. west virginia. mountain momma. take me home. country roads." john denver

thanks john. you took the words right out of my mouth. in about 5 hours i'll be leaving for west virginia for a week. i'll be one of 7 leaders taking a group of about 20 some students on a missions trip.

and the crazy thing is, i just got back from a youth retreat about 12 hours ago.

i'm feeling a bit crazy, but also quite happy. the lord has been doing some amazing things the past few days with these students. my heart feels heavy & full with love. i'm excited to see what comes next.

just breathe

2010-07-24T13:41:00.003-05:00

hey y'all... it's been a bit of a rough month. just a big roller coaster of emotions & changes. and the thing that i'm most afraid of has been creeping its way into my life: getting burnt out.

so i’m off at a cabin in jackson this weekend & the drive here was a great time for reflection. i drove for about 3-4 hours & threw on some aaron strumpel tunes. i really let the songs sink in deep. and as i was singing & looking out at the sky, i just began to weep. i felt like the lord was reopening my heart towards him & all the things that he cares about. i was remembering just how beautiful jesus’ way of life is.

i need to be spending more time in solitude with god so that i actually have something valuable to bring back to community. my love for other people, myself, simplicity, sharing, peace & service are all going to be fueled by & pour out of a real relationship with the lord.

vespers 1 & 2

2010-07-19T16:38:00.007-05:00

so aaron strumpel came out with a new album this week and it is nothing short of inspiring. his creativity continues to evolve with each new work. many of the songs are like modern hymns.

please.

do yourself a favor.

click the link and go buy vespers 1 & 2.

it's only $5.

you could go get a value meal at burger king for that price.

this is far more valuable.

happy one month

2010-05-20T01:49:00.006-05:00

well kids... today marks one freaking month.

it's weird because in some ways it feels like we've been dating WAY longer than a month... and in other ways it feels like, "dang! it's already been a month?"

good times, y'all.

some of you are probably starting to gag.

"is this blog just gonna be updates on this kid's love life?! screw this."

HEY! screw you! ok, wait... that was a little harsh. i'm sorry. listen... here's the thing. this girl i've been dating for the last month... she's (in the words of my mother) "sweet as pie. maybe sweeter."

so true momma. so FREAKING true.

so you see, i can't help but gush about her every little chance i get. especially here... the place where i come to blurt out all my thoughts. so just DEAL WITH IT!

happy one month manda.

and what a happy month it was.

enjoy these pictures from our 1 month celebration!

we invited marco to join in on the fun too :)

another sleepless night

2010-05-14T04:11:00.002-05:00

wow... i do not understand why i can't sleep at night. sometimes i wonder if i was meant to live on the other side of the world where my night would be day. hmmmmm... nope. i'd probably find a way to switch my schedule around & stay up till ungodly hours of the night. there IS something about being awake this late (4:15am) though... so quiet & peaceful. my mind just comes to life. sometimes the day is so filled with stuff that i don't even think. i just shift into auto-pilot. which can be a good thing, and a bad thing. i was hanging out with manda earlier & i asked her what was on her mind. after she got done explaining, she asked me the same thing. and i realized at that moment that absolutely NOTHING was on my mind. again... not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. it felt kind of strange though... like, "am i dumb or something? i'm not even thinking right now. i'm just... here." but on the other hand i was able to really be present in that moment... i didn't have a billion things running through my mind. no....

i save that for the wee hours of the night :)

well here we go... my late night blurt session where i blurt out all the things that are on my mind!

common purse

yeah... so my roomies and i are starting a common purse. we are going to have one bank account between the 5 of us. we went to the bank today & started the process in motion... so crazy. i'm really excited though! this is such a huge step for us... in trust, discipline, sharing & love! DANG! this is going to change everything... i think this is the reason i originally moved into the hamline house. i was thinking about how i've always been taken care of and how i've always had more than enough. yet, there are people in the world who have nowhere near enough. for me, something was terribly wrong with this picture. and i had a hope that moving in with a bunch of other folks that were trying to learn more about what it means to follow jesus & to love people would help. well... here we are almost 2 years later and we're just now doing something about that. i mean, we've made some pretty significant changes to how we spend our time and money... but nothing like this. the people i live with are becoming my new family in every way. nobody will have too much and nobody will have too little. it's a beautiful thing :)

reba place

we have some folks visiting us this weekend from reba place, a community in chicago that's been around for 50+ years. this is super exciting too! natalie has totally done all the work of arranging this & making it possible and i don't think i've fully appreciated it until today. these folks are coming to have conversations with everyone from thirdway to help grow into the beautiful community that god wants us to be. they are going to help us see into the health of our community & give us advice & encouragement and they have the wisdom & experience to back it up. i have a feeling that this is going to be a huge blessing for us.

manda

oh come on... i know you're all just dying to hear more juicy details about the new lady in my life! haha... well again, i don't wanna just rant on & on about how much i like her (A LOT) and how beautiful she is (VERY) and how great things are going (AMAZING)... but hey what the heck! i like her a whole lot, she is smokin' hot (a healthy catch), and i couldn't be more happy. honestly. i couldn't. we fit together. it's corny to say, but all things corny are coming to mind and it's true!

we had out first kiss.

it was so special, and scary, and perfect.

the way a first kiss should be.

this one's a keeper folks.

sleep

it's time for me to sleep. sooooooooo late.

i love you blog fam!

night!

going to church

2010-05-04T12:20:00.002-05:00

hey blog fam... thought some of you might find this interesting... it's a series of e-mails between folks in the thirdway community (the group of people that i share life with along the university corridor)... lemme know what YOUR thoughts are. it's always nice to get some outside perspective. our friend dumont kicks off the discussion by writing seth...

Hey Seth,

I just read your blog on the movement of Third Way. “Church=people gathered, and in sent in the name of Jesus.” Right on!

I forgot to include this on my “concerns” paper that we did this morning, but I think it could be extremely powerful and timely if the community made an intentional movement from the get-go to refer to itself as a “village” or “fellowship” or “community” and not a “church.”

“First Baptist Church,” “Lubbock Church of Christ,” etc all hinge upon the idea that the Church has flavors to pick from and is segmented (if not divided). And it fosters a language of “I’m going to church” or “I’ll see you at church” or “On my weekends you’ll find me at church.” Thus is makes it easy to set aside the truth that the Church is something more like a cloud or a wind or a dance…that we are all part of when we’re at home or at work or asleep or canoeing.

This kind of thing is really important to me because I’ve seen that even at Reba Place, the conventional “church” references create an atmosphere of activity rather than existence. And this really boils down to fostering the worldly idea “This is my religion” instead of “This is my Reality.”

What do you think? Peace my brother!

–Dumont

I actually think this is a great idea. When ever I look at something that Third Way and then is says church after it I always cringed a little, but tried to accept the move to call it that (there were bigger things on my mind). But now that it’s pointed out, I do think something like fellowship would be a better term and to leave “church” as a word that describes the greater, worldwide community feels more fitting to me. I do think semantics matter, especially if the terms we use can be easily misunderstood or come with baggage that would be less of a problem if we used another word that held a meaning that accurately described our community and posed less of a problem. I personally like ‘family,’ but I would be open to other suggestions as long as they didn’t sound too secular or watered down (e.g. The Third Way Gang!!! (; Ha! ) Of the ones Dumont suggested fellowship seemed most accurate.

Eddie

Interestingly enough, at Thirdway this morning, the older man named David who visited last week came again, and he brought up this same issue. He was holding the song booklet that Danny had passed out, and he pointed at the term “church” and said, “you know, I wonder if you all would think about not using this word. For me, it is a cold word and it doesn’t fit, but that’s just me.”

Personally, I can echo several of the things that Eddie said. I don’t particularly love the use of that term for Thirdway, as we are trying to avoid many of the connotations that we American Christians attach to church membership and involvement…….but I seem to remember that we’ve discussed this before, and I thought Seth had some reasons that the other terms couldn’t be used. I remember the term “village” being rejected.

I’m with Eddie in that, of the terms thrown out by Dumont, “fellowship” seems to fit best. We are a fellowship of believers—gathering, worshipping, praying, living, loving, and working in His name.

Lisa Como

Those two stories alone are convincing enough to not be a “church”. I think that we decided to use the word to make it officail that we are starting a church- but it seems that it may not be the best fit.
I like fellowship as well.

Alisha

I don’t mind Thirdway Church, because I know what WE mean by church. But I can see how other peoples points,that it does conjur up all sorts of ideas people have, usually that are not positive. I do know that when I try to say our community, that usually conjurs up all sorts of questions because people have no frame to put community in, other then neighborhood. So then trying to describe what i mean by community is my church, opps I said the word again!! So i guess if we are going to change the name, I could use a few ways to EASILY communicate who we are and what we mean by community or fellowship. But I am totally open to changing it, I just need a little help

Jen

Although I don’t get the creeps or dislike the name church, if we were going to change the ‘label’ I would prefer fellowship over the other suggestions.

Pearl

hmmmmm… this is a great discussion. i think it makes complete sense to stop referring to ourselves as a church. i think fellowship seems to make the most sense & would give folks a good sense of who we are. i really appreciate your honesty jen! i don’t think you’re alone in having difficulty explaining the difference between “a church” and “a community” or “fellowship”. most times i’ve tried to explain to friends or family without using the word church, they get a confused look on their face & say, “oh! you mean it’s a church! i get it.”…. i think this means for most of us, we’re going to have to have conversations with folks that are interested in learning about who we are. it can’t be fully understood or explained in a name. peace to you all!

Danny

Maybe it is unfair for me to share, since I am not part of your regular community. I did notice the discussion on “church” and I just want to point out that on your web pages and at the top of this page, you refer to yourselves as “community” quite regularly. I just wanted to point that out. We are looking forward to a dinner meeting! Sorry, I left this on the wrong page somewhere else……but I meant to leave it here!

Janet Rodriguez-Ricci

A question I posed Seth was “What is “a” church?” Rather, we are “the” Church. Church “ekklesia” means “called out.” I don’t think Jesus called out various groups in different ways–we’re all called out the same way. We’re all one big Called-Out-Church.

I know what you all mean in the difficulty of wording this stuff to our friends. But after living at Reba Place for a while, I figured out that the people who really want to understand this “community thing” will ask me what I mean by it. The early Christians sounded pretty freakish anyways–calling each other “brother and sister” like they were incest, and eating Someone’s blood and flesh!

Dumont

Our community is trying to resemble the early “church” as much as possible so from that stand point I don’t mind “church”. It’s kinda/super brutal how so many people get turned off immediately by that word. The benefit of keeping it Thirdway Church is it could give those who have been hurt in the past a more positive view of what church can actually look like.

No matter what we put in the title after Thirdway, we are a church.

That being said, I completely see both sides of the discussion, and think Thirdway Fellowship would be a great name too.

Joey

Man this is a tough one! I can see both sides of the discussion. With all the trust and hope that I’ve lost in the “church” over the years, I was excited to redefine “church” or at least be a part of a church in its original form. As Ghandi said ‘You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” If we want to change the meaning of the word “church” we have to bite the bullet and take on that label.

At the same time, as many people have mentioned, just saying the word “church” gives everyone the wrong idea, whether they are a Christian or not. A Christian would assume it’s just a sunday gathering place, whereas a non-believer would attach all the hurt and violence the church has done and is doing, whether they were victim to it or not. We want to at least give ourselves a fair chance when we talk to others about our group of folks.

I wonder, has it always been this way? Has the name “church” always had so many negative connotations? Maybe it’s part of our plight as followers to embrace a name that has hurt so many people, but try to overcome that. I don’t know?! I can go either way on the decision, just decided to share my thoughts. Hope they helped!

Paul

The primary problem with the word “church” is not what it means, but what it has come to mean in people’s mind. As an “old dude” I see people come up with new words to describe a thing all the time. Sometimes it is because, like church, people have forgotten what it really means. As Jesus’ followers, we need to help people to think in Kingdom terms, not in the terms of the world.

The thing the Lord has been reminding me recently is that his “Church” is made up of all those who are indwelt by the Holy Spirit — all believers. It is a dynamic movement of the Spirit of God. Is bigger than all buildings and all names. It is the Bride of Christ. It is beloved and it abides in love. It is where God dwells. It is you and it is me.

The TW is a local form of the Church. It is a fellowship (nice Biblical term). Just remember, those in the world may not know what the Church is. As you start to reflect Christ, more and more, than people will discover the Kingdom of God has come into their midst. The amazing thing is that as time goes on, I continued to be awed by the truth of all of this.

Christopher

Thank you all for thinking deeply about this!

Regardless of how the name decision turns out, I do hope we can rethink phrases like “I’m going to church” and “Let’s meet at the church.”

What do you think?

Dumont

Great comments friends. As I have listened in and thought about this it seems like we are actually both.

The church does refer to the worldwide community of folks who choose to follow Jesus way and partner in his mission. We are a local expression of that church. The word congregation comes to mind when thinking about this.

So we cannot be a church, as if there are many. We could be a congregation, a fellowship, or a community of the one body of Christ around the world.

I liked village best, because to me it carries with it relationships, work, and economy.

It does sound weird though. Congregation and fellowship and community all seem to me to describe life for the folks that are part of it already. As if it is community for the sake of community.

I would be in favor of a word that would speak to common life and common mission. Like thirdway corporation!!! Don’t you love the sound of that???

All kidding aside I like the tone of this conversation!

Seth

hey y’all. sitting here chatting with seth & pearl. we’re thinking it might be a good idea to just call ourselves thirdway. then people will naturally ask “what’s thirdway?” and we can explain what we’re all doing together, what the name means, etc. we also thought it would be a good idea to give our sunday morning time together a name. like the gathering. this way people can say they’re going to the gathering instead of going to thirdway, or going to church. after all, how can you go to a place that actually isn’t a place at all. it’s a people.

what would you all think about just calling ourselves thirdway?

Danny

will you go out with me? check yes or no.

2010-04-29T15:03:00.004-05:00

so i'm about to embark on a camping trip with the folks i live with. the forecast is screaming at us, BEGGING us to not go... but we're not listening. we can thank natalie for that. she's dead set on doing this. i'm kind of a wimp and don't want to be out in the rain all weekend... but meh. what can you do? we'll make some good stories i'm sure. plus, we just need the time to be together & bond as a house. we've been living in the thomas house now for about a month. so far, so good... but it's been a bit of a struggle for most. just a lot of change & newness.

speaking of which. i have a girlfriend.

yeah, you heard me. did i stutter?

ha... sorry, i'm slightly excited.

so i haven't had a girlfriend in over 2 years. before that, i was dating like crazy... and dating crazy people. (hopefully no ex-girlfriends will be reading this...) ok so they weren't all crazy... maybe none of them were. maybe i was the crazy one for getting into relationships with girls i barely knew. i think early on, i had the right idea. i didn't just want to date around... i wanted to meet someone special. see if we clicked, become friends, start dating, fall in love, get married, have babies.

after i met a few girls that i was sure i was in love with & things didn't pan out, i decided things needed to change.

i needed to change my approach to dating.

no more waiting around for a girl that i really liked, that i could see myself with. nope. i was gonna stop being so "picky". and i wasn't gonna wait around & get to know the girl... that just ruins everything right? you can't let it slip into the "friend zone". cause then it just stays there... you gotta date right away before you know too much about each other! that's the ticket!!!

oh wait. that's a terrible idea.

too bad that's the approach i took for around 4 years. yikes... i got myself involved with girls i never should have been with. and the whole time i was hurting. searching for worth & acceptance in a kiss. and at first it would be good. but it never lasted very long... and i think i knew deep down that i shouldn't have dated them. but i didn't care. i was coasting. i was selfish. and that was that. until i finally woke up. i realized that not only was i hurting myself more by behaving this way, but i was hurting others as well. so i kissed dating goodbye for a time.

2 years later. i'm not perfect yet. DANG IT! ha... it's true... i still have things i'm wrestling with. i'm still learning more about myself & about the lord. but a couple things have changed. the most important being...

i got to a place in my life where i was ok with being single for the rest of my life.

i still really had a desire to meet someone... but i wasn't putting my hope in it anymore. i stopped searching for someone. if i met someone, great. if not, it doesn't define me. i am a child of god. i have a beautiful family & community of people around me. i learned to be happy without being "with" somebody.

and then wouldn't you know it... i met someone.

her name is amanda. she is wonderful. i'm tempted to just go on & on about how great she is & how much i like her... but do any of you really want to listen to me ramble about that? i doubt it... so we'll just leave it at this:

i know who she is. she is a beautiful woman that loves the lord & i like her a whole lot :)

pray for us if you think to. this is new territory for both of us. we live together in a community house with 6 other folks which presents a whole set of interesting things to work through. but we're up for the challenge.

thanks for listening y'all. good times ahead :)

asheville

2010-04-19T09:16:00.002-05:00

hello good folks of blog land! i write you today from the wonderfully interesting town of asheville, NC! my friends jessie & justin and i drove out here on thursday & we head back home today... a nice long 17 hour drive :)

we're visiting our friends sarah & johnny. they've been living here for quite a bit now and they love it. beautiful mountains everywhere, quirky shops & quirky people to fill them. i love asheville too! this is my second time out & each time proves to be fun, stretching, and encouraging all at once. this is jessie and justin's first time here & they've had a really good time from what i can tell. they've become dear friends of mine over this last year. i grew up with jessie at our church's youth ministry & we've always been able to have such great conversations about life & the lord. she ended up moving out to canada to attend university. that's where she met justin, her husband. this guy is definitely the coolest guy i've ever met! haha.. his style is so unique and his personality is really chill & laid back and he has a cool perspective of the world that i really appreciate. basically i have a big man crush on him. i suppose it's a similar story with sarah & johnny. minus the man crush. sorry johnny... no offense. sarah and i grew up together. she's been a huge influence in my life over the years. i feel like she played a significant role in "tuning" my musical talents... i guess you could say she was an inspiration of sorts. she met her husband johnny at a conference called "one thing". it was love at first sight! if my memory serves me, i believe they got married less than a year later. johnny is one of those guys that is really easy to get along with. it's like he's on a mission to have a good time & make sure everyone else is having a good time too.

so here i am. surrounded by people that i love in a beautiful little town. and i can't wait to get home.

don't get me wrong. i'm soaking it in. and i'm truly enjoying myself here. but there's a girl back home.

things are looking up

2010-04-14T04:03:00.003-05:00

this might be another short entry because it's currently 4:05am. i've been up writing material for a comedy night at echo(the student ministry that i work for) tomorrow night & i still have more to write. ugh... being funny isn't easy. and unfortunately for me, my creative juices don't start flowing until the wee hours of the night/morning... i will say though... so far, so good. not to toot my own horn, but... TOOT! i'll post a video from the evening here at some point so you can all share in the laughter.

ok... so this is the first week in the thomas house & things are going splendid! i live here with ricky, natalie, amanda, paul, bill, pearl & joey. ha... one BIG happy family! the folks living over in the hamline house right now are rudy, kevin, marco, anna, terrie & wesley. it doesn't hit me how many flippin' people live in these houses until i list them all off at once! haha... but yeah, things are so different today than they were two years ago when we started all this. this year has been especially hard, but especially good. i think for the past 8 months it's felt like we've been trying to sprint through mud up to our chins. stuck. confused. frustrated. doubting everything. and in an effort to stay alive we dedicated most of our time to devising plans to rescue ourselves from sinking rather than turning to the saving one. a couple months ago we all sat down and asked the question, "are we even capable of having these conversations or living this life together when we don't even trust each other?" i think that was a turning point for us. nothing immediately got better. but our posture towards one another changed. we began to believe the best about each other. we extended one another the benefit of the doubt. the mud slowly began to subside & we started to see things a bit more clearly. about a month ago, i felt hopeful & truly happy. & i hadn't felt those things for a long time.

this week has been one of the best weeks of my life.

thank you lord.

new beginnings

2010-04-09T18:22:00.002-05:00

well we just spent the day moving our things around in a massive house swap. i've been living in the hamline house for almost 2 years & now i'm moving next door into the thomas house.

this is different.

but sometimes you need a change of scenery & a sense of freshness in life.

i'm hoping that's what this will serve as. a fresh start with 2 years experience under our belts.

and i don't even wear a belt.

groundswell

2010-04-01T17:40:00.004-05:00

so i'm hanging out at groundswell, the neighborhood coffee shop that my the folks in my community decided to buy. i freaking love it here. when we first moved into this neighborhood, it was called j & s bean factory & it was run by a bunch of really cool folks. but it ended up getting sold to someone else who didn't quite know what they were getting themselves into... folks in the neighborhood stopped coming... they even formed a boycott against the shop. the employees all quit & it pretty much turned into a wasteland. BUT, then we (the good folks at thirdway) started dreaming about buying this shop & making it about the neighborhood again.

so we thought & prayed and as time passed it became more & more clear that we should pursue it. and wouldn't you know it, today we are about 4 months into the mix of things. my buddy jeremy is the manager & the folks that i live with all volunteer to help run the shop. we painted, renamed the shop, went back to the j & s beans and a lot of the folks from the neighborhood started coming back :)

haha... i don't know why i've been plugging things in my last 2 posts, but you should swing in if you're in the area! we're located on the corner of hamline & thomas avenue in st. paul. i'm sure you'll be greeted with a smile & a friendly hello :)

clear

2010-03-23T14:04:00.003-05:00

so did i tell you that i slapped together a cd? i made it on a macbook, but the sound quality actually turned out alright :)

clear is a bunch of songs i wrote to the lord.

here are some of the lyrics...

*clear*

this life so far is beating me down & i can't see anything but the ground i'm walking on.

this life so far is more than i can bare & i can't feel anything but the air i'm breathing in.

and where's the strength that jesus said i'd have?

and where's the saint that jesus says i am?

i can't see things very clear, i need your eyes, i needs your ears to hear.

oh god i need your heart & it's clear to me now.

when things are looking, looking oh so bad, i'm supposed to put on a happy face & pretend that i'm glad, but i'm not glad.

and where's the joy that jesus said i'd have?

and where's the saint that jesus says i am?

*shield*

oh lord, how many are my foes? how many rise up against me? many are saying of me that god will not deliver him.

but you are a shield all around me.

you are a shield all around me.

i lay down my head and sleep. i wake because the lord sustains me.

& i won't fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.

arise oh lord, arise.

the lord is my strength & he lifts up my head.

to the lord i cry aloud & he answers me from his holy hill.

i won't fear cause you are with me lord.

funny thing...

2010-03-12T02:43:00.002-06:00

mmmmmm... christianne! it's been too long my sister! so glad to hear from you! :)

alright, well now that the tacos have been devoured & everyone has wandered off to bed, i think i can find some more words to share.

i was just reading the last post i wrote on thanksgiving. i remember that thanksgiving quite vividly because of bill. a man who i'd just met through my friend nate. i was moved by the story of how nate met bill & how bill was welcomed into our thanksgiving feast & it really was a beautiful thing.

funny thing...

it's been over a year since that thanksgiving & i haven't seen bill more than 2 times in different random social settings.

tonight, after dinner was over, we had a house discussion about a man named bill. he's been living in a local church for i don't know how long & is apparently going to have to leave the beginning of april. no job. no place to go.

this is where the rubber meets the road kids.

we talk an awful lot around the hamline house. we talk about social justice & peace. we talk about simplicity & sharing. we also talk about hospitality. but practicing these things are COMPLETELY different than talking about them. our first year we had several different folks come stay with us at the hamline house. we had a pretty strong sense that part of what we were called to do was take in folks that needed a place to stay if we had the room. but we soon found out that even though we had physical space in our home, we were lacking in so many other ways. most of the situations led to frustration & confusion shared by everyone involved & ended in relief when it was all over. that's the truth. it looked so good on paper!

yet... i wouldn't take any of it back.

i really feel that we were doing what we felt called to do. we were faced with a choice. someone needs a place to stay & we have extra space. things didn't always go exactly the way we thought they would... but that's life right? sometimes when you stop to lend someone a helping hand, it can put you right in harm's way. it might be safer to just keep walking & not make eye contact. but i suppose we didn't sign up for safe when we decided to follow jesus. did we.

so i ask for your prayers as we consider inviting bill to come live with us. we don't know all the details yet & we're still praying & talking about what it would mean for all of us, but so far, it's unanimous. that would make 7 in the hamline house & 7 in the thomas house. oh yeah, did i mention we started a 2nd house this year? :) more on that another time.

sleepy time. thanks for listening. remember to pray for us if you think of it.

it's been a while...

2010-03-11T17:25:00.004-06:00

well kids. i decided it's time to start blogging again. it's been over a year since my last post and SO much has happened in the last year... so much in fact that i've forgotten the art of taking time to write & think & process.

this has always been a great place to process.

things are much different now. when i think about last year, it seems so easy... but while i was in the moment, i remember how hard it was & how difficult things were. we were learning so much. how to share our possessions. how to simplify our lives. how to take care of one another.

i'm about to go cook a delicious taco dinner for my housemates... but later i'll write some.

anyways... here's to new beginnings :)

thankfulness

2008-11-28T16:20:00.002-06:00

so yesterday was thanksgiving.

i'm sure most people experienced something similar to what i did.

lot's of food. lot's of family.

ha... i actually was fortunate enough to have not one, not two, but THREE thanksgiving feasts this year! tuesday, wednesday and thursday were all celebrations of this holiday called thanksgiving. and i know it's kind of lame to bring up things that you're thankful for just because it's thanksgiving, but as a christian living in america, i'll take all the reminders i can get!

what i'm most thankful for this year is something called New Family. as i gathered together with various friends & family to celebrate & give thanks... i realized that all of these people are my family. and not just in a corny way like, "we're so close it feels like we're family."

no.

God has set it up in a way that when we embrace the kingdom & manna way of life and say together that God is our only king, then we become New Family. we're no longer divided by race, age, gender or anything else in our world that separates us. we are a new family.

at our first thanksgiving gathering, my friend nate invited a man named bill to join us for dinner. nate met bill at a coffee shop a few weeks ago. he was taking his dog moses for a walk & just started up a conversation with him... as bill knelt down to pet moses, he began to weep. bill had no plans for thanksgiving, so he accepted nate's invitation. we all sat down and began sharing what we were thankful for... and when it got to bill he said, "i'm not thankful for much... i'm thankful for nate... and for all of you. i don't have anybody to celebrate thanksgiving with, so you're all my family."

back in action

2008-11-26T15:36:00.002-06:00

hey family in blog land. it's been too long my friends! i THINK i might finally have some time to dedicate here. things are still just as busy as ever... but i think something i've been realizing lately is that the hamline house has a story to tell. and people need to hear about it. last weekend we took a trip to YWAM in Weyerhaeuser WI to share about intentional community. it was pretty cool because it was the first time we've ever had a platform like that to tell our story. and it seemed to impact everyone who heard it... maybe not in a shocking visible way... but i believe that our story pushes people towards community... towards sharing & simplicity... and my hope is that our story would push people towards the heart of Jesus.

there are a lot of things that have happened since i last updated you all... some of you may know already, but about 2 months ago jamal moved out of the house. there are plenty of reasons why we arrived at this decision together, but the important thing is that our relationships were not damaged. this was the best thing for jamal, and for the others in the house.

on a happier note, this month we are preparing for two new additions to the house... greg & zach. greg is our friend from resonate who we've had several conversations with about moving in and what that would mean & look like and we all have agreed that the next step is for him to come try out a month & practice living with us. zach is our other friend who we actually haven't even met yet! ha... he's going to stay with us over thanksgiving weekend and we'll spend some time with him going over our house values & way of life... if that all goes well, we'll have a full house by january! we are all very excited to see what God does!

more updates to come soon!

dance dance revolution

2008-08-19T18:44:00.006-05:00

YAY!!! finally a camera in the house! (apparently we've had two the whole time already...) ha... so this will be a really quick post... but i wanted to show you guys some pictures from last week. our friends joey & pearl got married last weekend and on thursday we had a prayer & worship night at the hammy house... we spent some time singing to God and then praying for joey & pearl's wedding... and it was awesome! but then all of a sudden when we were done... we had a CRAZY DANCE PARTY in our living room... it was quite special... here are some pics...

hamline house blog

2008-08-17T15:06:00.002-05:00

alright peeps... as most of you know, the hamline house blog site is pretty much lame-sauce. ha... more like the hamlame house blog site.... yeah... we've kind of collectively realized that we're not quite at a point where we can have people consistently posting on that site yet... but coming into the school year, we're going to get a rotation going for house peeps to post once a week... i'll let you know when it's time to start checking it out... so look forward to that! until then... keep checkin' here for more hamline house updates :)

thanks for your patience everyone... (angie)

moons over my hamline house

2008-08-12T00:18:00.002-05:00

not the best picture ever... but we don't really have a camera at our place... so group pictures are hard to come by... this one is from my camera phone. i promised an update with pictures and trust me, that is coming soon! but for now, this will have to do :)

it's amazing to me how fast the time is going by in this house... we've already been here for a little over two months! so much has happened and i feel like i've filled you all in on so little! here are a few things that have happened since we moved in...

relational tithe - this is something that our friend joey cavalier started up right when we moved into the hamline house & it involves people from our community at resonate. we all give money to this account on a monthly basis... approximately 3% of our income... then joey, myself and heather all spend time together praying to God... asking how He wants us to bless others who's needs are not being met. we've already been able to help out 4-5 people with their needs including rent & gas money! the relational tithe has contributed about $400 to the hamline house to help with expenses! what a blessing that has been! this month we're planning on helping out a single mom who is working 3 jobs to support her family... i feel so honored to be involved in God's jubilee economics...

community dinners - we have been having community dinners on saturday nights at our home. we spend the day cooking and cleaning... preparing our house for guests... & then we invite our friends, family and neighbors over for a meal and fellowship! this has been so wonderful to be a part of! we've had a different mix of people every time & i think people have really enjoyed getting a taste of what we're doing here & what we're all about.

family nights - every thursday night we have a family night for the peeps living in the house. we kind of have an alternating schedule of events that we do on thursday night which include prayer & worship nights, an hour or two in silence & solitude, spending some social time in our neighborhood with each other, and reading through a book called Manna & Mercy by daniel erlander which i HIGHLY RECOMMEND! it's pretty much set up as a childrens story book... but the content is far from childish.

so yeah... we're here... we are taking steps forward... we're starting to see God work through this community of people living together on purpose... we're bringing the kingdom to each other & experiencing growth in wonderful and painful ways... and this is just the beginning...

so i'm lame at blogging...

2008-07-26T15:50:00.003-05:00

dang... just when you think you have this whole blog thing down, reality sets in and shows you just how lame you really are! ha... sorry fam! i know i've been out this whole month... and just after i promised more posts! but life in the house is busier than expected... i guess we're going to have to be intentional about posting more frequently! so... just a quick update on what's happening in my world... i started recording music last week. just one song so far.. but i'm very happy with the quality... i'll have to post it soon so you can all give it a listen! i'm hoping to record more within the next couple months with my dear friend angie fabulous... if all goes well we should have an ep out soon! ha... she already has plans for an album cover & photo shoot! my goodness... things at the hamline house are going well... we just got some new neighbors downstairs... they're taking the unoccupied office space and turning it into a pet grooming shop! ha.. too bad we're not allowed to have pets up here! we also have some new neighbors moving in across the street! our dear friends joey & pearl who will be married this august! they're our friends from resonate and we're really excited to expand our little community! natalie and sarah have been in mississippi this whole past week with a bunch of students from echo & resonate... they spent their time there with the john perkins foundation and it has been quite inspirational to follow their blog... if you're interested in checking it out... here's the link. alright kids... i think that's all i got in me for now... more to come hopefully in the near future.

breath of fresh air

2008-07-01T14:51:00.000-05:00

we have internet!!! ha... this makes me so happy! now you can all look forward to new posts from the hamline house blog every week! and you'll probably be hearing from me a bit more frequently too! 3 thumbs up right? :)

ahhhh... i miss all of you! my blog family! how are all of you? i guess if i really wanna find out i'll just have to make a little trip over to your blogs! and now i actually have some time to do that! ummmm... ok, so in my last post i was going through some rough times... ha.. life in community IS all it's cracked up to be... but it's HARD. it takes ridiculous amounts of prayer and patience... which are to things i get to grow in daily. things have started looking up too... natalie and i developed our covenant and weekly structure! since i'm sure you're all dying to know what it is... i thought i'd post it here for you all to see! enjoy :)

Hamline House Values

Simplicity - as community members we commit to living with what we need, not what we want. this requires continual evaluation of our lifestyle. we consider the needs of our local and global neighbors before our own.

Sharing - as community members we commit to sharing our resources with each other so that we may have more to give those in need. we recognize that all we have belongs to God, and then to our brothers and sisters in the house.

Peacemaking - as community members we commit to resolving conflict according to the way prescribed in matthew 18. we commit to extending self-giving love to all people in the same way God does. this includes our enemies. we commit to following the Spirit's leading as we work to heal and restore our broken world.

Work - as community members we recognize work as the dignified activity of helping God provide for human needs. we commit to balancing work inside the home with work outside of the home.

Accountability - as community members we allow one another to lovingly challenge and encourage us to remain faithful to our covenant and to Jesus' kingdom way of life, and we commit to doing the same for each other.

Communication - as community members we commit to speaking truthfully and lovingly to each other. we avoid meaningless talk, half truths, and dishonesty so that we may commit to simplicity in our speech as well.

Leadership - as community members we take ownership of our HouseGroups, taking on leadership roles and offering our time to be spiritual guides for people.

Submission - as community members we recognize the church as Christ's body and humbly submit to it's leadership as we would to Christ. we recognize our tendency to pursue our own self-centered vision rather than God's dream for our community. we commit to support and encourage those God has called to leadership roles among us and to passionately follow the dream that God has called us to as a covenant community.

Freedom - as community members we commit to lifting burdens off of those we meet in our world and to liberating people from poverty and emotional and spiritual deprivation.

Transformation - as community members we commit to the disciplined spiritual life, recognizing God as a God of life and newness. we resist stagnation and encourage growth on the individual and communal level.

Play - as community members we commit to creating times in which we have fun together, fostering an enjoyment of all God's good gifts.

Rest - as community members we commit to times of reflection, both individually and as a community.

New Family - as community members we commit to living as God's new family. this means respectful and loving interaction between genders, ages, races, and any other lines which divide people in our world. we recognize the humanity in us all and welcome strangers with Christ-like hospitality.

and there you have it folks. i feel so blessed to be a part of this house. thank you all for being such a huge support for me through all of this. i got nothing but love for you :)

reality sets in

2008-06-25T16:15:00.000-05:00

wow... i knew this was going to be hard.... but i had no idea just how difficult living in intentional community was going to be. as you can see... i haven't written for a little over 2 weeks. pretty much since we've moved in. part of that is because we don't have internet hooked up yet (should be about 2 more days)... but another reason is because i've been so incredibly overwhelmed since i moved into the house, i haven't had time or energy to devote here... now, before you write this off as one big "venting" post... hear me out. even though it's been physically, emotionally and mentally draining thus far... everything that's happening now is so necessary for us to experience growth and community. and even though there is so much struggle & discomfort right now... i'm catching little glimpses of hope... and beauty... and God.

hamline house

2008-06-09T14:11:00.000-05:00

this house has been called a bunch of different names so far... the ministry house... the missional community house... intentional community house... seeds... sperma... don't ask... and so we decided that we needed to land on a name.

the hamline house.

our house is on the corner of hamline & thomas avenue... and it has a nice ring to it without sounding too corny or too over the top. if you're interested in following the comings and goings of the ministry & people of this house you can continue to read my blog (cause i'm sure i'll never stop writing about it.), or you can check out the official hamline house blog. we're gonna try to have everyone in the house take time to write a little something on the blog so that people can have an avenue to stay connected.

so this past weekend we all signed the year lease and started moving all of our belonging into the house! it was a crazy hectic process, but tons of people were around to help out! we've already started sharing our stuff with one another... if anyone was missing a bed or a dresser or anything like that, we were able to get it for them! we also had plenty of visitors over the weekend helping unpack & organize... there's a very warm feeling all over this house. people walk in and feel welcome, comfortable and at home... which is EXACTLY what we want! we started meeting some people around the neighborhood and we've already established the beginning of some friendships with people from the local shops right on our block! across the street there is a coffee shop, a gas station and right below us is a pizza joint! they welcomed us to the community with discounted prices for pizza & gatorade! ha... so much fun!

last night was the first night we all stayed over night in the house and it was wonderful! as i was busily unpacking my boxes and getting my room situated, the rest of the roomies were plopped down on the kitchen floor till 2 or so in the morning having awesome conversations! God is at work here. tonight we have our first dinner together as a family followed by a house meeting to discuss how everyone's feeling, what we feel God doing, and maybe go over some plans...

more to come soon with pics!!!!

:)

tonight

2008-06-06T12:40:00.001-05:00

we sign the lease tonight...

here we go.

jamal

2008-05-30T23:47:00.000-05:00

well... guess what kids? we just added another roommate to the roster! i thought this would be a great opportunity to tell you a little bit about each person i'm going to be living with! so allow me to introduce you to the hamline house.

this is seth mccoy. he's our fearless leader. though he won't be living in the house, he's the pastor over resonate which is the ministry that we're directly connected to and very much a part of! he'll be spending lot's of time hanging with us at the house and providing guidance as we begin taking steps forward in this whole process.

this is natalie potts. she's my co-worker at woodland hills and she'll also be a co-leader with me at our community house! we've been able to spend some time getting to know each other over the past 5 months and she is absolutely awesome! we get along great and we've already had some great practice working together!

this is ricky hampton. oh my goodness... i love this guy. we've been able to spend some time talking and he's got quite a story to tell! he's very humble and easy to get along with... this is pretty much the only picture i could find of him... his eyes are shut... so he's probably praying for the food he's about to eat...

this is sarah wininger. she will be joining us for the summer and maybe a bit longer after that and we are so pumped to have her come stay with us! she has a great big huge heart and the Lord has put a passion in her to minister in india! God has big things in store for this woman.

this is jamal rogers. he's our newest addition to the house and he's quite a character! this dude has CHARISMA! ha... as you can see from the picture... i'm really excited that jamal has decided to join us in our little journey! he's definitely gonna bring a new "energy" to the house!

this is heather karsikas. we've been friends for a super long time now and let me tell you... she is absolutely wonderful! God has already done so many amazing things in her life and i can't wait to see what comes next!

so there you have it... my little band of house-mates... it's one week till our adventure begins...

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

something new

2008-05-27T17:19:00.000-05:00

hey folks... sorry it's been such a long time since i've posted or visited your blogs... God has me on a little journey right now that has led me away from the computer screen... i hope none of you feel too neglected :)

the title of this post is "something new"... but it's probably nothing new to any of you! ha... it's all i've been able to write or think about lately... i've got house on the brain. but God is doing something new... and it's about to begin... and i'm so incredibly excited! i can't help but share all the wonderful details with all of you! there have been a few changes since i last wrote... we have a slightly different roster for the house... as of right now we have 4 committed to live in the house for a year and 1 who's planning on living with us for the summer... the 4 are natalie potts, heather karsikas, ricky hampton, and myself... the 1 is sarah wininger. to my sadness, angie fab decided after much thought & prayer that this just wasn't the right time for her to make this move... BUT she's agreed to drop in on occasion and make us a home cooked italian meal! yummy! 2 of us are currently looking for jobs, so if you could please be praying that God would provide them with jobs, we'd greatly appreciate it! we're all set to sign the lease on friday, june 6th! and then we can start moving our stuff in!!! we just had our first meeting last night and it lasted almost 5 hours! ha... there is so much to go over! we're getting together again this week to continue planning... it's a very exciting time for all of us. i think we're gonna start a house blog to keep people posted on how things in the house are going from everyone's different perspective, so be looking for that soon! thank you all so much for all your prayer & support these past couple months... i couldn't be doing this without you.

more to come soon.

read this

2008-05-11T02:45:00.000-05:00

this was posted by someone on staff at resonate.... and what can i say... it resonated with me :)

committed

Last week in HouseGroups, we read the last story in God’s great saga! It was called Epilogue: The Church.

It was about how Jesus’ death was the start of something new… and that something came to be called the Church. It was a new way of living. The story describes the people as being deeply committed to God and to each other. They shared everything they had. They spent their time praying, learning God’s ways together, and helping anyone who was in need. And they did all of this “with great joy and generosity,” the story says.

These are the rhythms that marked the life of the early Church. This is how people who were directly impacted by Jesus chose to live. I often think about the way the first Christians were committed to each other. What does that even mean? Besides the idea of marriage, it’s hard for me to formulate a picture of what people committed to each other looks like. That’s weird, right? Isn’t the normal thing for us to be committed to our families and spouses?

Which leads me to another question: did Jesus really come to make us a new family, or didn’t he? Does Jesus still call us to define “family” along the same lines that we knew growing up? Or does Jesus call us to a new definition? One that includes more than the people we’re related to or have created children with?

After all, blood is what defines our standard concept of what family is. And because Jesus poured out his blood, and we can partake of it every week (in communion), and everyday as we choose to live the kind of life that he did. Partaking of Jesus’ blood gains us entrance into this new family, where no one is left out. The whole family celebrates, suffers, and practices faithfulness to God and his ways together. And we are all committed to each other with a love that promises to remain in relationship, to struggle through conflict, and to share with the other their joys and sorrows.

Together we can represent a whole picture of the Kingdom of God. Together we can remain the bride of Christ, living like our husband has come back already. With the way we treat one another, we beckon others into this joyful, cross-carrying period of waiting as we try to follow Jesus and show the world what love looks like.

here we go

2008-05-09T02:21:00.000-05:00

hey fam. i thought it was time for another update... sorry this is kinda turning into a missional house blog... but it's all i can think about right now! :)

so as of today, we officially have 5 people 100% committed to live in the house! can you believe it?! ha... it's crazy to me how quickly this has all come together! we have natalie potts, ricky hampton, angie fabulous (carroccio), heather karsikas, and myself! i believe with all my heart that these are the people that God has called to live in this house. i have absolutely no doubts about this.

this saturday we're all heading back to the house again to turn in our applications, discuss/negotiate prices, and give the house one more walk through with everyone there. we're planning on moving in mid june! i am ridiculously excited about this! it feels like God has given us the keys to a car and now we just have to get in and go!

i'm praying like crazy about all of this... i know that there are probably all kinds of mistakes that we've already made but just aren't aware of yet... and many more to come... but i'm praying that God would be preparing us for all the obstacles we're going to face... that we would be as thoughtful and careful about all of this as humanly possible... that we would be ready to love others and each other the way that God has called us to... that we would be ready to share... to sacrifice... there is still so much planning that needs to happen.. so i'm asking all of you to please please pray! the only way we're going to be able to succeed is if we have God's help... people coming around us... praying for us...

i thank God for what He's doing right now... He's SO GOOD!!!

ummm... one more thing... if you think of it... pray for my momma... she's very sick right now and in a lot of pain... she can barely walk... i haven't ever seen her this sick before. so please pray that God would heal her. We know He can do it!

thank you fam!

ministry hizzle

2008-04-28T01:58:00.000-05:00

ok, so here are some pics of the house we checked out the other day... it's right above a pizza joint called dino's gourmet pizza which automatically makes it the sweetest place EVER... it's a 5 bedroom apartment with a porch, a bathroom, a living room and dining room, and a big parking lot just for us! and the price is right!
before we even set foot inside, natalie and i both had a feeling this place was going to be perfect... and it was.
sorry some of these pictures are super dark... we just snapped a bunch right before we left and most of the lights were off...
as we were walking through the apartment... i began asking God again to send us the people that are supposed to be living with us in the ministry home... and we need like 5 or 6 to make it happen... by the end of the day we had one guy ricky 100% committed to the house! and 3-4 other people expressing interest! as of today we have 2 people that are right on the fence... about 90% sure that God is leading them to live with us!

God is delivering quickly on this one!

please keep praying for us! we need it now more than ever!

enjoy the pics!

snow

2008-04-26T03:57:00.000-05:00

can someone tell me why i am waking up to snow when it's almost may? this makes no sense to me... eh... oh well, it'll probably all be gone by noon. ha...

so a number of you have asked me to keep you posted on how things are coming with the missional/ministry house... consider this your post (:

ok, so since i've returned from my wonderful trip to chicago... i've been discussing the idea of the house with a co-worker/friend natalie... she's been pretty passionate about this house for the last year and has been wanting to get it started for quite some time now... and as we spoke and dreamed out loud, it seemed very clear that God had put this passion in both our hearts... and so we met with seth (the emerging generation pastor)and the rest of our ministry team at resonate and we thought up a rough game plan... for the first year, we're planning to find a house to rent from... ideally we want 5-6 people in the house, and these people would make up the core group of the house ministry... we'll live together for this first year and begin to practice the lifestyle that we're feeling God call us to and also begin to form and shape the logistics of everyday life within the house... each person living in the house will be asked to not work more than 30 hours a week so that we can have enough time with each other, the neighborhood, and the rest of the resonate crew. the idea would be to start more homes after the first year, and the core group would disperse to these homes to live & lead there.

which left us with two things holding us back from getting started...

1. who is going to live in this first house?

and

2. where is this so called house?!

ha... so yesterday natalie and i went house hunting and i think we found a place that would be perfect... 5 bedrooms, a bathroom, dining room, living room and kitchen... i think... we're gonna go look inside later today... and once we found this place... we both looked at each other and knew that we were going to have to start asking around to see who would be interested in joining us in this house! so i started asking God to send us people that He really wants to be a part of this... and i believe he is doing that right now. a number of people have already expressed interest!

you guys... this is really happening...

God help us.

resonate

2008-04-21T11:18:00.000-05:00

so as some of you know i work at woodland hills as a creative arts resident for the emerging generation... our 16-22 year old ministry is called resonate and we have a blog site that i'll be posting on weekly now along with the rest of my co-ministers... so i thought i'd toss the link your way... between the 7 of us there are usually some pretty cool posts. check it out yo.

a letter to pilar

2008-04-14T03:06:00.000-05:00

so i just wrote to my friend pilar and i thought i'd post part of it here to give y'all some more insight on what's going through my mind...

"this changes everything...

ok... so it's officially late... like 2:40am late... and i should go to bed... but i'm totally buzzing with excitement and anticipation right now!!!

pilar... i'm feeling God speak to me so clearly right now... it's unreal...

this ministry/missional house idea... i'm gonna do it.. i have to... ha... God has made it so clear to me! and i'm just feeling so overwhelmed with different emotions... mostly good ones! ha... ok... so where to start?

ok, well this whole past week has been probably one of the most eye-opening/influential weeks of my life. the conference was incredible... i don't know... i feel like God breathed new life in me while i was in chicago... like all of a sudden i woke up from a deep sleep or something... i think the parts of the weekend that hit me the hardest was THE WHOLE FIRST DAY! ha... all the speakers impacted me in a huge way... but i think shane did it for me... especially since i've been reading his first book, the irresistible revolution... it goes into depth about his life and how he got into ministry... and it talks a lot about the community he lives in with the simple way... and then to hear him speak at bethel and in chicago... i don't know... it just helped me to connect even more with that ministry... living in intentional community and becoming invested in your neghborhood... searching for opportunities to get involved helping the poor, sick and desperate people that are just around the corner...
and then when trevor shared everything thursday night... that was a really powerful night too... like i felt something happen in our group that night... specifically our house group...
tonight at resonate... as seth was covering everything that we experienced in chicago, i was becoming very emotional... especially towards the end when we played the shane claiborne video... i just began to weep and continued to do so all through worship...
and then i went over to joey's to watch american idol and it was idol gives back week! ha... so there was a 2 1/2 hour special where tons of celebrities rally together and raise/donate money towards all kinds of different causes... aids, malaria, education, katrina, poverty, etc... and so of course through the whole show my brother and i sat down in his basement sobbing like a couple of saps... ha...

PILAR!!! i can literally feel God giving me his heart for the poor and broken people in the world! and it feels incredible!"

shift

2008-04-12T14:06:00.000-05:00

so this week i took a trip to chicago with my leadership team at resonate. we were checkin out a leadership conference called "shift" which was being held at willow creek church. this conference was life changing to say the least. there was so much that happened, and i don't think i'm going to be able to adequately explain everything, but i'll do my best. the conference consisted of 3 days packed with speakers, worship and other cool experiences. the first day had 3 main sessions, each led by a different speaker. in between each speaker we would worship God.

the first main session was led by author, speaker & pastor brian mclaren. brian is a networker among innovative christian leaders whose teaching is stirring people all over the world to think in fresh ways about christian life and faith. during his session, he talked a lot about our societal system and how jacked up it is. his session was titled "everything must change". he talked about how our goals are prosperity, security and equity... and he illustrated a picture of a goldfish in a bowl and how if the goldfish continues to take in all the resources and only produces waste then there will be less and less room for the waste to go because the fish is continually growing larger and larger... eventually the fish dies from it's own toxicity. i probably butchered that... but it definitely raised some questions that i haven't really thought through before...

every worship session was led by charlie hall and his band. wow... this was some amazing worship people... charlie definitely has a gift... his connection with people was so real and he wasn't showing off at any point... he came in humbly with a heart to worship. so so good! you all need to go out and pick up some of his worship cd's. cool?

mark yaconelli was our speaker for the second main session. this guy was a stud. he's the co-founder and director of the Youth Ministry and Spirituality Project, and has spent the past 15 years working with students in local church, camp, and conference settings. this session was titled "failure, frustration & loss: the youth worker's path to holiness". he talked a lot about brokeness.... how youth ministry is designed to break the youth leader & how God is aking all of us to be broken. the questions he raised were pretty awesome... do i have an accurate understanding of what success is? or blessing? because if we look at the life of jesus... and we ask ourselves "was he successful?"... and if our answer is yes... then what does that look like for us if we're trying to be more like him? yaconelli also talked about being weary of the tendency to pretend... which is something i'm all too familiar with lately... the invitation was to become real... to hold suffering... and to carry the broken heart of jesus.

our last speaker for session 3 was none other than shane claiborne. this guy was incredibly inspiring! shane is one of the founders of the simple way, a philadelphia-based community of faith that spends much of their time feeding hungry folks, serving neighborhood children, running a community store, and pursuing peace and justice amongst the poor. shane is also the author of jesus for president, and the irresistible revolution. before i took off for this conference i was able to pick up his books and i started reading the irresistible revolution... it goes into depth about his story and how he got into ministry... and as i was reading i felt myself becoming more and more excited... like wow... this is it. this is what i want to do! and then hearing him speak at this conference really stirred up some dreams. within our community at resonate, we've been discussing the idea of starting a ministry house in st. paul... and at first i was very hesitant about being involved... the unknown can be pretty intimidating... but over the course of the last few weeks i've been feeling God leading me down a path that has a ton of potential to land me smack dab (no pun intended) in the middle of a ministry house!

and last but certainly not least... switchfoot was able to come do a Q&A for the conference... followed by an unplugged set by the band's front man... jon foreman. he recently started a solo project with the support of his band and he's released 3 of the 4 EP's so far... fall, winter and spring... the fourth one will be released this summer... ha.. can you guess what it will be called? jon's performance was incredible... it made my top 3 live performances list...

so yeah... needless to say... this conference was SO GOOD!

response yo

2008-04-04T21:24:00.000-05:00

so i wanted to take time to reply to all of your wonderful comments on my last post. so this is my thank you post for those of you that took time to write your thoughts (:

Terri said... i've said this before, but i honestly admire you danny. i'm very proud of the way you dig into your life with God. bless you sweetie.

-thanks momma... you raised me right! take some credit! (:

Dean said... OK, OK, I'm feeling convicted enough already ;) You really do dig deep and that honesty challenges me to take another hard look at where I'm at and what I'm painting over and covering up. You go, wild man!

-thank you dean. ha... sorry to bring the conviction! it's very humbling knowing that my struggles are making people take a look into their own lives (:

Marcia Erickson said... wow d...you are amazing...God is amazing...thank you for sharing what God is doing in you...i'm blessed... ps...God is the Master artist!

-thank you shasha... YOU are amazing! ha... love you!

Pentimento said... Danny - you GOT and explained the concept of Pentimento much better than I have! When I think of the ripped and torn picture, the first thing that I saw was, of course, a mystery, and an adventure! Which immediately intrigues me. I once acquired an old torn up, faded hundred year old picture, and carefully and after much patience and the gentlest work, discovered a treasure that explained so much. I can't wait to see what appears on your canvas.

-thank you marcell! i never really understood what pentimento meant until di sent me the link to your post about it! i was completely blown away! it's pretty much the exact same idea! how cool is God?! thank you so much for sharing!

angie fabulous said... good stuff, danno. i'm reminded of the elevator music song we were listening to last night... more of you, and less of me; more of you, and less of me, and more of you, more of you, Jesus. :) ps. definitely not "more of you, jeremy" either. :) :) :)

-thank you angie! SUCH a good song! ha... and i actually kind of liked jeremy's version... ha

di said... i sure am sensing a unity of the spirit between your insights danny and this artist's rendering. your canvas certainly is made of quality dna and comes from a noble bloodline that truly reflects the glory of Imago Dei. you are beautiful man.

-thank you so much di! this link you gave me was so cool! (:

Sarah said... What a beautiful image, bro. I love it, and all your detail here makes it stand out even more. I love the honesty here, your truth-telling in the midst of this process. I can't wait to see what God does with it all.

-thank you sarah... i really liked this image too... i was like, "wow... thanks God..." ha... yes, i can't wait to see what He does... i'll keep you posted though (:

dave said... nice! don't ever loose that tender openness with what god is doing with you danny. I find it fascinating how we constantly fill our lives with our stuff. stuff we think will make us happy because, after all we're the experts on ourselves. only to find out our "floor plans" are seriously flawed and we go back to the master builder to have him show us whats good and pure descent. david had some phenomenal insight on this stuff. "CREATE in me a clean heart oh god. RENEW in me a right spirit" creating. renewing. god is so cool. amazing grace saved a wretch like me . . .

-thank you poppa... your words here really touched me... i like how you shifted from God as the painter to God as the builder... He's really a master of all trades huh? love you poppa!

kirsten said... danny, you are so ahead of the game bro. there are men & women of faith who die old & wrinkled without really getting this: that being stripped of ourselves hurts, it means letting go of what we know & lean most heavily upon. it even means letting go of our ideas of what is good & right sometimes. this is necessary so jesus can fill us with himself. he can't fill us if we aren't empty. gosh, that HURTS. but jesus did it (phil. 2). it makes sense that we need to also. your momma & poppa have every reason to be proud of you. i'm just proud to know you. you've painted a beautiful word picture here, one that inspires me to return to the foot of the cross, lay myself down, spread my arms and my hands wide open. love you, bro. *hugs*

-thank you ksissy! gosh i love you! ha.. "he can't fill us if we aren't empty"... so good... thank you so much for sharing your thoughts kirsten. you are wonderful!

Meli said... beautiful. really. it makes me less mad at you. :) j/k. j/k. love.

-thanks meli... glad you're feeling less mad (:

di said... thought of you danny as i was reading today's daily manna...looked up the Message version for this a different kind of canvas 2 Corinthians 5 1-5For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we'll never have to relocate our "tents" again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less.

-thank you AGAIN di! (: this is super powerful and really hit home! it meets me exactly where i'm at...

Christianne said... dude, danny. i totally feel you on all this, bro. God be with you, as he is also with me.

-thanks chrissy! i like your prayer at the end there... (:

Nathan said... A friend of mine often says this, "Nathan, I feel like I'm being ripped out of the frame." I thought of that as I read your post. Lot's of great insight there Danny. Emptiness is hard (I'm still there), but I also know that refilling is mind blowing . . . mos def worth it. Thanks for another glimpse into your journey. It helps frame mine, so to speak and keep it in perspective.

-thank you nathan... i like that quote you slipped in here... being ripped out of the frame... that's a really cool way of putting it... and i really appreciate your feedback!

again... a big thank you to this community for the love and support!

so i got you these flowers

2008-04-04T18:23:00.000-05:00

hey you. listen... i know lately things have been a little rocky between us. you've called and left messages that i haven't returned... and maybe you're feeling a little bit neglected. like this is a one sided conversation... but as shania twain put it, "you're still the one i run to, the one that i belong to"
so let's not let one post of unanswered comments come between us... i think we have something really beautiful going on here. don't throw it all away... can't you find it in your heart to accept these flowers and my apology?

ha... ok, for real though gang... sorry i've been absent the past week! i was hanging out with angie fab last night and she was like, "you suck at blogging" ha... things have been a bit busy lately, but i wanted you all to know that i really appreciate this community. you are all wonderful friends and you mean the world to me! thanks for being patient! (:

more posts to come... sooner than later ang

beautiful empty

2008-03-27T17:39:00.000-05:00

there is so much going on inside of me right now... i can feel God leading me through something... He's showing me more and more of myself everyday...
today as i was praying i got a vision in my head of a picture... but the picture was old and torn... it was missing it's insides and all that was left was a ripped up frame. and to some, this is a sad picture... but to me it was beautiful. and i believe that God was telling me, "this is where i'm taking you."... and it really doesn't look like the most desirable place to go... but for a long time i think i've been painting my own picture... filling it with what i want... with a splash of selfishness and a few strokes of pride... rough sketches of sin that i was sure no one would notice... and i think my picture looked really good at first glance... but the more i studied it, the more i realized that it was ugly. it didn't mean anything. and i got worried... this is all permanent. i can't erase this. it's done. but while no one was looking i laid a bright new canvas over the original. i quickly copied all the good parts of the original and left out the bad ones. now this painting was something to look at! it only had a few minor flaws... people who looked would be happy and send forth compliments... and it worked for a while... but as time passed the disguise would not last.

as God has been removing this fake canvas... it's been painful... at times it's felt like i'm being torn up... like God is taking strips of the painting and ripping them out... and i've felt a bit embarassed... this is all stuff that i never wanted God or anyone else to see... but He is showing me that this old ripped up picture is the one that He originally created... and THIS is the one he wants to continue to shape and work with. a replacement canvas won't do. this original is the one He loved first. and he's going to take it and make it new.

God is helping me empty myself. and i'm asking Him to pour more of who He is into the open places of my spirit. and for the first time in a long time... i like what i see.

good friday

2008-03-21T17:45:00.000-05:00

so i'm getting ready for my church's good friday service... i'm actually going to be in a skit during this service. the skit it supposed to be serious and dramatic and really pierce people's hearts. but all i can think about is how dumb it is and how i wish i didn't have to be in it. i know i have a crappy attitude about it, but honestly, when i volunteered to be a part of this, i was thinking that the skit was actually going to be really good... then i read the script and it's not that it's a bad skit... it's just not very meaningful or powerful in my opinion... here's my part.

i play a husband who's planning a vacation to scotland with his wife. on this vacation, i make it clear to my wife that i want to go golfing. she has other plans... shopping and sight-seeing. so i tell her in a very rude way that it's MY money that's paying for this vacation and i'll do whatever i want. that's the gist of the first part... then we do the skit again, but this time instead of being mean and rude, i'm a total cheese-ball sap. when she suggests shopping and stuff, i get down on my knees and start washing her feet and my line is, "well i suppose we can postpone golfing till wednesday. maybe tom and dave (my golfing buddies) can go sight-seeing with us? or maybe they can check out a smaller course?" and then she says, "thanks hunny, this really means a lot to me."

end skit.

i don't know... it just seems lame to me. like the message of the skit is, don't be rude and mean, be nice and compromise. the washing the feet part is cool, but i don't think the lines go in depth enough... like, "honey, i've really been looking forward to golfing with my buddies and the truth is, i don't want to give it up. but i love you, and you're way more important to me than golf. so i'm willing to compromise... let's plan this vacation together." i don't know... something like that... something a little more realistic, cause the way it is right now, it seems like the way to serve and wash someone's feet is to do whatever they want. and i don't really think that's right... sometimes it is...

i feel like choosing to live a life of washing other's feet is a process of recognizing what your hopes and desires are, and then saying, "yeah, this is what i want... but even more than all that, i want to serve others. so how can i be christ to this person right now?" and if it looks like postponing your golfing trip to spend time with your wife, then great! but to not show that process is pretty weak i think.

but on top of all of that, i'm whining and complaining about a skit on good friday. i think my heart is somewhat in the right place, but my attitude stinks. so i'm choosing to put my own selfishness aside and serve. i've recognized what my desires are for this night, and now i'm asking myself, how can i be christ to those around me? and so regardless of whether i think the skit is bad or not... i'm going to do my best, keep a positive outlook on things, and i'm going to quit grumbling... cause i think that's what jesus would have done.

consider this a rant (:

the aftermath

2008-03-12T17:06:00.001-05:00

i hate the heat. which is probably why i will always live in minnesota. the whole time i was in mexico, i enjoyed myself... but i kept thinking... "i wish it wasn't so hot here." most people like the heat. my sister in law janelle is a freak about the sun and just laying out in it. i don't get it. heat has always made me feel uncomfortable.

but sometimes... it's necessary.

so in my last post, burning the old tattered disguise, i talked about the process of becoming real before God and friends & family. letting God access every corner of who i am. no longer pretending to be someone that i'm not. i realized very quickly that this is not something that can be done in an instant. actually let me rephrase that. it can ONLY be done in an instant. ha... that may sound a bit contradictory, but let me explain. i believe that in every moment of life... every instant... we have choices. we can choose to do good, and we can choose to do evil. we can choose to drink pepsi, and we can choose to drink coke. and most of the time there are more than just two choices. and the choices that we make directly impact and shape the type of person that we'll become. the choices i've made in the past have brought me to where i am today. who i am today. and so if i'm going to burn my disguise... if i'm going die to myself... if i'm going to choose to live differently today than i was living yesterday... it has to happen instant by instant. moment by moment. i have to continue to choose this daily.

the other day i had one of those defining moments where i had my first real tangible chance to choose to continue burning my costume or to extinguish the flames, dust it off and put it right back on.

for a moment i faltered. and that's all it takes. one moment.

so i'm sitting there in this mess that i vowed to leave. and i'm feeling trapped. i'm feeling guilty. it's like the costume was still on fire and to put it on was to put on fire. i could barely breathe.

and that's when it hit me. why am i here? i do not have to stay in this. right now i can choose to walk away.

right now.

so that's what i did. and it wasn't easy. it's almost as if each time i try to put this costume on, it gets harder and harder to take it off. but surprisingly i'm feeling hopeful rather than discouraged. i think that God is beginning to show me the patterns i've set in motion that have been the cause of most of my problems. he's showing them to me and then helping me to grind against them when they begin. slowly, but surely... God is molding me into the man he dreamt i'd be.

"though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. these have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
1 peter 1:6-7

burning the old tattered disguise

2008-03-04T22:10:00.000-06:00

firstly.

i must say thank you to everyone for your love on that last blog. the support is extremely encouraging.

i started reading a new book today called Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen.

holy crap.

i was reading through the introduction and it blew me away. i think something that God is speaking to me about right now is being one person. all the time. in every situation. check this out.

"The discipline of the Heart makes us aware that praying is not only listening to but listening with the heart. Prayer helps us stand in the presence of God with all we have and are: our fears and anxieties; our guilt and shame; our sexual fantasies; our greed and anger; our joys, successes, aspirations, and hopes; our reflections, dreams, and mental wandering; and most of all our family, friends, and enemies--in short, all that makes us who we are. With all this we have to listen to God's voice and allow God to speak to us in every corner of our being."

"This is very hard to do since we are so fearful and insecure. We keep hiding ourselves from God and from others. We tend to present to God and to others only those parts of ourselves with which we feel relatively comfortable and which we think will evoke a positive response. Thus our prayer life becomes very selective and narrow."

wow. i'm gonna take a time out and go burn my costume. the one that i've worn before my friends and my family and our God.

time to get real.

zombie awakens

2008-03-03T15:35:00.000-06:00

whoa.

had to take a little break there i guess. i know that probably sounds weak to those of you that post a thousand blogs and THEN take a break... but hear me out before you grab your pitchforks and torches.

as most of you know, a few weeks ago i was on a miserable sleeping schedule. you know this because i posted blogs about it... and i posted them at 3-5 in the morning. but something else was going on... something more than just a lack of sleep... because i started to realize that i wasn't feeling very happy... not that i was depressed either though... it's almost like i wasn't really truly living... just sort of there, you know? the sleep was the first thing i noticed. before i left for mexico, in one week i had stayed up for 36 hours straight... twice.

i began to feel very much like a zombie.

wandering around my life in slow motion.

people started asking me what was wrong. all the time. which can get pretty annoying. not just because they asked, but more so because i let my guard down. i showed my hand. they could see i wasn't smiling. my disguise was becoming old & tattered... soon and very soon, everyone would see what was underneath. people would see that i'm not this perfect-youth pastor-worship leader-super spiritual-always happy-positive-guy. i was going to let everyone down.

someone recently sent me $200 anonymously in the mail with a note attached that said, "i believe in you."

i felt ashamed.

i felt distant from God.

i mean... i knew He was right there with me... but i had worn my disguise in front of Him too... and i felt liked i had betrayed Him.

so then a couple weeks ago i took off for mexico with our family not-so-small group. many of you read my mother's posts from the airport. about how she was taking it all in. there was a part in there where she let my brother joey read a short story about a boy who gave blood to his sister thinking all the while that he was actually giving his life. a beautiful, moving story. and my brother's eyes became watered over with tears.

i envied him. i wanted so badly to feel what he was feeling. i wanted to cry. but i was tired.

i still wondered if anyone could tell i wasn't there. that in reality, a zombie creature had taken control of my body & i was just going through the motions.

while we were in the dallas airport waiting for our flight, we decided to go explore the gift shops. my parents offered to buy me a book. so i glanced around for a bit and nothing was really jumping out at me. but at the last minute i saw a book, Blue Like Jazz. i had heard about this book a billion times before. everyone said it was amazing and that i NEEDED to read it. and that always made me want to never read it. but for some reason... at that moment in the book store... i wanted it.

i started reading it in the terminal.

and then some more on the plane.

and some more at the hotel.

i couldn't put it down. i was eating it up. there was a part in the book that stood out to me so much. it impacted me in a way that i can't really explain.

"My slot-machine God disintegrated on Christmas Even when I was thirteen. I still think of that night as "the lifting of the haze," and it remains one of the few times I can categorically claim an interaction with God. Though I am half certain these interactions are routine, they simply don't feel as metaphysical as the happenings of that night. It was very simple, but it was one of those profound revelations that only God can induce. What happened was that I realized I was not alone in my own surroundings. I'm not talking about ghosts or angels or anything; I'm talking about other people. As silly as it sounds, I realized, late that night, that other people had feelings and fears and that my interactions with them actually meant something, that I could make them happy or sad in the way that I associated with them. Not only could I make them happy or sad, but I was responsible for the way I interacted with them. I suddenly felt responsible. I was supposed to make them happy. I was not supposed to make them sad. Like I said, it sounds simple, but when you really get it for the first time, it hits hard.
I was shell shocked.
This is how the bomb fell: For my mother that year I had purchased a shabby Christmas gift--a book, the contents of which she would never be interested in. I had had a sum of money with which to buy presents, and the majority of it I used to buy fishing equipment, as Roy and I had started fishing in the creek behind Wal-Mart.
My extended family opens gifts on Christmas Eve, leaving the immediate family to open gifts the next morning, and so in my room that night were wonderful presents--toys, games, candy, and clothes--and as I lay in bed I counted and categorized them in the moonlight, the battery-operated toys of greatest importance, the underwear of no consequence at all.
So in the moonlight I drifted in and out of anxious sleep, and this is when it occurred to me that the gift I had purchased for my mother was bought with the petty change left after I had pleased myself. I realized I had set the happiness of my mother beyond my own material desires.
This was a different sort of guilt from anything I had previously experienced. It was a heavy guilt, not the sort of guilt that I could do anything about. It was a haunting feeling, the sort of sensation you get when you wonder whether you are two people, the other of which does things you can't explain, bad and terrible things.
The guilt was so heavy that I fell out of bed onto my knees and begged, not a slot-machine God, but a living, feeling God, to stop the pain. I crawled out of my room and into the hallway by my mother's door and lay on my elbows and face for an hour or so, going sometimes into sleep, before finally the burden lifted and I was able to return to my room."

this met me exactly where i was at. i finished reading this passage with tears in my eyes and i too felt as though a haze had been lifted. i felt like i had been awakened from my zombie-like state. i began to sleep. a lot. and at normal hours too. i spent time with God. walked with Him on the beach and swam with Him in the pool. i found rest and life.

when we got home my dad was asking me about the trip... how i thought it went.

"it was great. i had an awesome time."

"i think this was really good for you."

and when he said that... he said it with deep knowing. like his son had returned home...

leavin' on a jet plane...

2008-02-14T07:46:00.000-06:00

well... it's about that time... we're gearing up to head out to the airport! we'll be in mexico until the 23rd! this is gonna be so much fun! i wish all of you could be there with me... and actually probably half the people that comment on these blogs WILL be there with me... ha... but to those of you that won't... you'll be missed!

be safe now.

dab out.

control

2008-02-10T11:02:00.000-06:00

i feel like this mutemath song is an answer to my last blog... if you haven't ever heard of mutemath, please go get some of their music pronto.

control

take control of the atmosphere
take me far away from here
there is no better loss than to lose myself in you
in a parachute to glide, i am captive in your sky
surrender somehow becomes so beautiful

take control of the atmosphere
take control of the atmosphere
you can take my world you can fill the air
take control, take control

such a beautiful surrender
such a beautiful surrender
such a beautiful surrender
such a beautiful surrender

move me up through the darkest clouds
till i've lost in the sun every shadow of doubt
there is no better find than to find myself with you
in a fog you are all I see
i'm inviting you closer with each time i breathe
surrender somehow becomes so beautiful

take control of the atmosphere
take control of the atmosphere
there is no reason i should breathe unless you're in the air
take control

such a beautiful surrender
such a beautiful surrender
and i'm calling out
would you take control
And i'm calling out

good morning children of the Lord...

2008-02-09T06:12:00.000-06:00

hey kids. it's 6:10 in the am... and i have to go drive some echo kids to a service project in like an hour... i went to sleep like 3 hours ago... but i'm having a restless night. i'm feeling pretty good though.

i just read a blog that my friend angie fabulous wrote... it's about mediocrity and how some people settle for it in life. it really made me think about the areas in my life where i'm settling for less.

less than what God has called me to.

ouch.

and yay. ha...

there's something painful and, at the same time, wonderful about realizing that you are not done learning & growing. on the one hand, you're not perfect. & that sucks. on the other hand... there's more.

there's more to life than just this. more than what we're experiencing right now at this moment. there's more. more life. more truth. more freedom.

i feel like if we want more of what God has for us, we need to be people of intention. we need to choose DAILY to fall into the arms of God. to give Him control.

and so that's what i'm going to do today.

today it's not about what i want. period.

we'll see how tomorrow goes (:

i shall leave you with a quote.

"are the things you're living for worth Christ dying for?"
- unknown

blogo numero uno

2008-02-07T05:06:00.000-06:00

alright folks. by popular demand... i give you the dab chronicles.

fyi - dab is a nickname i picked up from a friend. i sent her an e-mail and signed it dab instead of dan... the b key is right next to the n key... well, now that THAT'S out of the way...

hello. hey there. come on in and sit down. allow me to introduce myself.
*shakes your hand with a cheesy grin*

my name is danny churchill.

i thought a formal introduction would be appropriate since you'll be reading my deepest thoughts and all. call me old fashioned.

ok. here's a few things about me that you might not know.

1. it's 5:39am and i'm still awake. over the past few months i've developed a pretty terrible sleeping schedule. i mean, i've always gone to sleep at a fairly unreasonable hour... but lately it's been sick. i think it's partially due to the fact that i have a completely ridiculous fear. which leads me to my #2.

2. i have this ridiculous fear that if i go to bed without enough sleep (8-6 hours), i'll sleep through my alarm and i'll be late for work. so if it's oh i don't know, 3am and i have to get up at 8am... i think to myself, "yikes... 5 hours... that won't be enough... i'm just gonna stay up all night and then sleep after work." THIS my friends is stupidity... but you're not stupid, so you knew that. ugh...

3. i love dots. in my sentences and in my belly. you've probably noticed by now that sometimes instead of using the standard period, i'll use a row of 3 dots... like that. i don't know why, i just like it. back off. also, i've recently developed a love for the chewy candy dots. yummy!

4. another punctuation fact. i don't like to capitalize the first letter of a sentence... don't know why on that one either.

5. i hate roller coasters. yuck. get them away. actually i think i hate rides in general. along with water skiing, snow tubing, ice skating, sky diving, bunji-jumping and anything else where my body is being flung around in the air, across water or down hills.

6. God gave me the ability to play guitar. one night a girl prayed for me and then BAM... i could play... (an extended version of that story will be coming your way soon)

7. i love the show LOST. if you're not a fan, then you're not a friend... just kidding... we can still be friends... but seriously, it's the best show on television. SO GOOD!

8. i attended a discipleship training school at YWAM in MN and it changed my life. you'll hear about it frequently i'm sure.

9. i'm super close to my parents and to my brother joey. they are my best friends.

10. i have a dog named moses.

and there you have it! 10 things i hate about you... even though they were about me... and i don't hate them... well i don't hate ALL of them.

alright kids... it's time to get ready for work.

peace.